I don't have any words to describe how I'm feeling at the moment. I'm just going back and forth to the hospice to spend as much time with Richard as possible, and coming back to be with the children as much as possible, and then I'm sleeping as much as possible in-between (and thankfully, I am getting lots of sleep - that's one thing I'm not struggling with). Richard is having a few good days, where he can be hoisted into his wheelchair and sit up for a couple of hours, but more bad days where he drifts in and out of sleep and is uncomfortable.
For some inexplicable reason I found the ability to get up in church and speak a week last Sunday, which in retrospect is really weird, because I spent the week before it in pieces, and have been in pieces since, but felt it was the right thing to do at the time.
So that's what I'll share instead of my written words. This kind of sums up all the preaching I've done for the last couple of years really, and the reason that I will continue to feel bruised and battered by all of this, but not destroyed.
Home Church Morecambe 4th May 2014