My Heaven Groans
When I wake with an ache
And wish I could find immediate relief
Of the heaviness of wearing a human body
These are my heaven groans
When I feel a gap in my soul
That I cannot explain
Because I have all I should need
What I asked for
What others still pray for
These are my heaven groans
When I want what I know I cannot and should not have
And conquer my desire with pragmatism
And realism
And gratitude for what I already have
Then have to find the momentum
To begin the same cycle days later
These are my heaven groans
When I constantly imagine a state of perfection
That I have never achieved
Yet feel compelled to achieve
And chastise myself daily for failing to achieve
These are my heaven groans
When I can never accept
That death is a real and irreversible thing
And feel every subsequent loss
With the added weight of each previous one
These are my heaven groans
When I catch glimpses of beauty
That make something deep inside me somersault
As if I’ve just witnessed paradise
But know I cannot hold it
Explain it
Or keep it
These are my heaven groans
When I have moments of human connection
That make me feel whole
And light a spark in me that I’d forgotten about
But know that those moments come and go
And cannot be artificially replicated
But are worth turning up for over and over
In the hope they might happen again
These are my heaven groans
When I hear words of truth
That resonate with something in my spirit
Which was previously unseen
Unidentified
But came alive when it was given a name
These are my heaven groans
When I wonder why I am always searching
For something I’ve never known
As if a whisper of eternity
Was implanted in me from birth
Compelling me forward to a prize beyond measure
And sweet fulfilment of every part of me
That I will never experience here on earth
These are my heaven groans
For my heaven home
Comments
Post a Comment